Episodes
![Staying the Course](https://deow9bq0xqvbj.cloudfront.net/ep-logo/pbblog4743071/00F56D7C-63B3-4492-BE45-96A54D48112D_300x300.jpeg)
Sunday Mar 24, 2024
Sunday Mar 24, 2024
Five year Estradiol Illusions anniversary! Ian talks about what she's been up to this year, mostly writing and trying to get over yet another breakup. Life is a tricky game. Best to keep a stiff upper lip and get on with things.
Thank you to everyone who's listened to the show over the past half-decade! We don't do as many new episodes as we used to, but it's always fun to catch up.
Ian is far more active on her two preferred platforms, Facebook and Threads
![The Long Game](https://deow9bq0xqvbj.cloudfront.net/ep-logo/pbblog4743071/1A91B0A4-C7E5-4B10-82AC-C97E29064F27_300x300.jpeg)
Monday Jan 22, 2024
Monday Jan 22, 2024
ITM just celebrated a three-month anniversary of her new relationship. She's really excited to be in love again. So excited, in fact, that she recorded a whole episode on how her emotions represent the culmination of her whole transgender journey, even years removed from the end of her medical transition. For all the nonsense the world throws at trans people, there's a lot of joy out there too.
![The Little Drummer Boy Book II](https://deow9bq0xqvbj.cloudfront.net/ep-logo/pbblog4743071/MV5BMDhjNzcyYmMtNWZkNC00YmM1LWJiZjctMzE1MjZkMzc2YmE2XkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyNjc5NjEzNA_V1_FMjpg_UX1000_7mnsp_300x300.jpg)
Wednesday Dec 06, 2023
Wednesday Dec 06, 2023
Did The Little Drummer Boy need a sequel? Absolutely not. Is Book II worth watching? Ian unpacks the short film's surprisingly strong anti-capitalist message. For a special that's running on fumes, Aaron's second act is one of the better lesser-tier Rankin/Bass specials.
EI's coverage of the original Little Drummer Boy: https://ianthomasmalone.podbean.com/e/the-little-drummer-boy-1639166205/
EI's full holiday slate: https://ianthomasmalone.com/2023/12/holiday-podcast-rankin-bass-muppets/
![The Small One](https://deow9bq0xqvbj.cloudfront.net/ep-logo/pbblog4743071/smallone_xu63uf_300x300.jpeg)
Tuesday Dec 05, 2023
Tuesday Dec 05, 2023
We are continuing our holiday coverage with the 1978 Disney special The Small One, a quietly powerful short little film. A favorite of Ian's from an early age, she gets a little emotional talking about the narrative toward the end of the episode. For all the fun we have joking about all the cringe that often goes into holiday specials, The Small One is among the genre's finest offerings.
The Small One is streaming on Disney Plus
Our full holiday slate: https://ianthomasmalone.com/2023/12/holiday-podcast-rankin-bass-muppets/
![’Twas the Night Before Christmas](https://deow9bq0xqvbj.cloudfront.net/ep-logo/pbblog4743071/1367_front_600_copyasosb_300x300.jpg)
Monday Dec 04, 2023
Monday Dec 04, 2023
We're back in the Rankin/Bass cinematic universe, covering the 1974 animated special 'Twas the Night Before Christmas. Santa is really angry about an op-ed penned in the local paper by a young mouse who dared not to live his life in service to the altar of faith. The town government is pretty apathetic toward Santa, a proper sentiment for a lackluster special.
EI's full holiday coverage: https://ianthomasmalone.com/2023/12/holiday-podcast-rankin-bass-muppets/
![U-Haul](https://deow9bq0xqvbj.cloudfront.net/ep-logo/pbblog4743071/uhaulfreetouse_01102022_uqhc8x_300x300.jpeg)
Sunday Nov 05, 2023
Sunday Nov 05, 2023
ITM offers a passionate defense of the LGBTQ sensation known as U-Haul. Is it a bad idea to rush into emotional entanglements that make you feel like you're floating on the moon? Hey, if you find something that makes you happy in this modern landscape, roll with it. Life's too short to deny yourself a beautiful U-Haul.
![The Deep End](https://deow9bq0xqvbj.cloudfront.net/ep-logo/pbblog4743071/8003A25B-0A12-46FD-902E-B379F3E262C9_uxekp4_300x300.jpg)
Friday Oct 27, 2023
Friday Oct 27, 2023
ITM has had quite the eventful stretch. With someone new in her life, Ian unpacks the nerves and calming effects of being thrown into The Deep End. As scared as she feels, the idea of having something worth feeling anything about is cause enough for celebration. The deep end isn't such a scary place to be as long as someone remembers to throw you a paddle.
![Effort](https://deow9bq0xqvbj.cloudfront.net/ep-logo/pbblog4743071/391654795_18392212231055196_5664261760819712285_n_2e4fbg_300x300.jpg)
Friday Oct 20, 2023
Friday Oct 20, 2023
ITM had a magical date last night with a woman. A major recurring theme of this show over the past two years has been ITM's fleeting connection to her bisexuality. Ian unpacks her date and the value of bringing your best, earnest effort to new connections, to throw yourself out there in our vast scary world, eager and ready to savor that precious LGBTQ joy we all hold so dear to ourselves. Maybe she's a little smitten with the sapphic bug, but isn't that the whole point of this thing of ours (bisexual casa nostra)?
![Discretion](https://deow9bq0xqvbj.cloudfront.net/ep-logo/pbblog4743071/45C1DB89-60E2-4F2C-8A1C-6C36A126971A_gb2ka4_300x300.jpeg)
Wednesday Oct 18, 2023
Wednesday Oct 18, 2023
We're back! ITM delivers a case against one of her least favorite elements of LGBTQ life, that thing called discretion. A lot of people used to wish that gay people could keep things in the bedroom or the pesky closet. ITM doesn't think that suits an adorable transsexual, and she'd like the era of discretion to come to a much-needed end.
![The Flash](https://deow9bq0xqvbj.cloudfront.net/ep-logo/pbblog4743071/MV5BZWE2ZWE5MDQtMTJlZi00MTVjLTkxOTgtNmNiYjg2NDIxN2NhXkEyXkFqcGdeQXVyMTUzMTg2ODkz_V1_6li5k_300x300.jpg)
Wednesday Jun 28, 2023
Wednesday Jun 28, 2023
Against all odds, The Flash movie was finally released. In spite of Ezra Miller's best efforts to shelf the film with their awful behavior, Warner Bros. opted against the Batgirl treatment and set this trainwreck loose in the wild. Ian is joined by friend of the show Ed Carroll for a post-mortem on The Flash, and the DCEU as a whole. At least we got some Keaton, and another beloved DC figure in ITM lore.
For more of Ed, follow him on Twitter @EdRevelator34
Ian's review of the film: https://ianthomasmalone.com/2023/06/the-flash-is-an-embarrassing-mess-fitting-for-the-current-state-of-the-dceu/
![Trans Fetishization](https://deow9bq0xqvbj.cloudfront.net/ep-logo/pbblog4743071/351118703_273167998569898_2560289553595426550_n_7n6e8h_300x300.jpg)
Wednesday Jun 07, 2023
Wednesday Jun 07, 2023
Ian unpacks a question that she was asked by a Grindr date last week. Is there anything wrong with going out with guys who fetishize trans women? Like many trans femmes, ITM is not a fan of being objectified, but she tries her best to unpack the reality of how trans people are seen in this vast dating realm.
![Trans Optimism](https://deow9bq0xqvbj.cloudfront.net/ep-logo/pbblog4743071/IMG_4378jpgau9sw_300x300.jpg)
Thursday Jun 01, 2023
Thursday Jun 01, 2023
Pride is upon us! It's a pretty shitty time to be a trans person in America. Ian muddles through a deconstruction of the idea of optimism, trying her best to piece together something resembling a life in this chaotic timeline.
![The Mister Rogers Test](https://deow9bq0xqvbj.cloudfront.net/ep-logo/pbblog4743071/Mister-Rogers-Neighborhood_300x300.png)
Monday May 08, 2023
Monday May 08, 2023
Ian returns with a foolish story of how she used to rate suitor's prospects by whether they stayed to watch Mister Rogers' Neighborhood with her in bed the morning after. There's not much point to the episode besides this story that's already been spoiled. She thinks listening to the whole story would be a waste of time and didn't want you to suffer.
Ian's article on Mister Rogers that was referenced in the episode: https://fansided.com/2020/03/20/mister-rogers-neighborhood-legacy/
![Transgender: Year Nine](https://deow9bq0xqvbj.cloudfront.net/ep-logo/pbblog4743071/343761656_558826086287287_6109158667667302503_n_zy795v_300x300.jpg)
Wednesday May 03, 2023
Wednesday May 03, 2023
Estradiol Illusions celebrates its fourth anniversary... a month late. Ian takes a look at trans life nearly a decade in, from the mistakes of her youth to the current heavily anti-trans climate here in the US. She's not really sure why this show has grown in popularity, but she's grateful to have you here.
![The Gender of Our Discontent](https://deow9bq0xqvbj.cloudfront.net/ep-logo/pbblog4743071/IMG_5574_jpg_5tb7sd_300x300.jpg)
Wednesday Feb 08, 2023
Wednesday Feb 08, 2023
ITM spends some time with one of her least favorite subjects, her own gender. Not quite feeling like a woman these days, Ian doesn't really know what that means. Her gender is probably just tired, or hormonal, or hungry. Maybe all three.
![A Charlie Brown Christmas](https://deow9bq0xqvbj.cloudfront.net/ep-logo/pbblog4743071/07oCJ3YhbtprekjbkcWSeww-1_copy7yu9j_300x300.jpg)
Thursday Dec 15, 2022
Thursday Dec 15, 2022
Our holiday coverage concludes with a merger of our pop culture and personal programming. A Charlie Brown Christmas is one of the most perfect holiday specials in existence, but it'll also occupy an odd place in Ian's life. Ian talks about how she watched this special mere minutes before a four-year relationship ended, days before Christmas. Ian really didn't like the idea of such a good special being tied up in trauma, making a vow to reclaim the Peanuts and all their glory. Those efforts ultimately shaped her year of mischief and healing, the promise of Christmas manifested in the heart of a chaotic transsexual.
Enjoy your holidays and have a very happy New Year.